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03 December 2008                 Register

Subject: Things To Ponder
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DavidGUser is Offline

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TF MVP
Posts:160


14 Jun 2008 12:39 PM Alert 
Things To Ponder
 
 
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
 
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
 
Why do they call them straight jackets when they are never straight?
 
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it BEGINS ringing?
 
If you choke a Smurf what colour would it turn?
 
If you try to fail and succeed which have you done?
 
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
 
How many turtles does it take to make one can of turtle wax?
 
If a mute swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
 
Why do old women die their hair blue?
 
Do married people live longer than single people do or does it just seem longer?
 
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread.
 
What is the definition of "is"?
 
Will wearing short sleeve shirts show your support for the right to bare arms?
 
Why do they call a pear a pear if there is only one?
 
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to cure it?
 
If the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second, what is the speed of dark?
 
Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an s in it?
 
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
 
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
 
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
 

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